Pro Tip: Don’t Comment on the CEO’s Body Parts When Asking For a Job
[I wrote this in 2011… but I’m sure nothing’s changed.]
Men typically don’t have a frame of reference for what it can be like to be a woman, especially in a male-dominated industry. In 1995, I went on tour with a band as their booking agent, tour manager, production manager, road manager, and sound engineer. 16 shows over 24 days in 5 countries in Europe.
And every time the band introduced me to someone as their tour manager and sound engineer, the guy I was meeting typically said something like, “Well, aren’t you pretty!” or “Which guy in the band are you dating?” I was rarely taken seriously. And I couldn’t imagine that if that guy were meeting David, the tour manager and sound engineer, he’d tell David how handsome he is.
Fast forward to this week. Even though I have a boyfriend, I am still listed on an online dating site as looking to make friends… because I’m in a new city, and I’d like to make friends! My profile is very clear about this, and my profile is full of all the work I’m doing.
The name I use on the dating website is the word “Busy” and then another word relating to business. So I don’t give it away, let’s say I’m “BusyEntrepreneur” as my online name.
This is the email I received yesterday through the dating website:
I’m too old for you. But this is a networking note, not a boy/girl thing.
I’ve been a CFO for a couple of telcom start-ups and returned from 4 years in Europe to this crappy job market. I’m a bit underemployed at my current gig at [a local well-known university].
If you need a snarky finance guy for one of your ventures, send me a note.
By the way, did you accidentally leave out a “t” between the “s” and the “y” in your screen name
Just to make sure you didn’t miss the subtlety of that communication, please note
1He’s basically asking me for a job, and
2He suggests a letter T is missing from my online name… which would turn my online name into BUSTY Entrepreneur. While asking for a job.
Sure, he’s a jerk. Sure I’d never hire him. But it’s not like this is amazingly rare.
So today, I ask each guy out there to think about how he looks at the professional women in his life. You may have nice eyes or be very good-looking, but in the professional arena, I’m interested in your qualifications and ideas. I will NOT be making any references to your looks or your body parts.